Max is working so hard at tackle football and Jack is giddy that the All-State music has been posted and youth orchestra is getting cranked up. Max has mastered the combination on Locker #647 and Jack has me signed up for a whole bunch of text notifications from his different classes (like biology and geometry!!!). They're settling into their new environments and seem to be very happy so far. GREAT start, I'd say.
And what am I doing? CARPOOL.
It was WEIRD going through carpool Monday afternoon and seeing the elementary people dismissing kids and NOT being part of it. I kept thinking that if I looked hard enough, I would see myself over there doing my thing.... you know... like in Back to the Future when Michael J. Fox saw himself but didn't see himself seeing himself?? Well, I wasn't there. Cause I'm smack dab in the middle of my YEAR OFF.
Sorta.
Cause with a one year old like this one over here (points to the kid tugging at her socks and pointing at the laundry room and squealing.... for the dozenth time today), there ain't no time OFF.
She. Is. Busy.
That's what I told them Wednesday at the International Adoption Clinic. We had our second visit with them to go over the lab results and follow up with a developmental specialist and, when they asked if I had any questions, I just pointed at her and said LOOK. Do you see it? Watch her feet. She NEVER stops moving her feet. I explained how this becomes PAINFULLY clear when there are SQUEAKERS in her squeaky shoes, but that I had REMOVED said squeakers when we were standing in the UNBEARABLY long line at the Comcast office while trying to get a new remote. I told them all that.... and then I pointed at her and, again, said LOOK. (I might have been sweating and sitting on the floor with the contents of her backpack and my purse strewn all over the place with a look of exhaustion on my face and a plea in my voice). The boys were NOT like this. They were content. They sat still. Not this one. Again. B.U.S.Y. And I'm trying to keep up, but.... OHMYGOSH.
That developmental specialist person just smiled and said, "Yes. Typical orphanage behavior."
And then I sat in that tiny room at the IAC and remembered.... cause sometimes I forget.... that this person used to live in an orphanage. Like... TWO MONTHS AGO. She spent LOTS of time in a crib or walker or penned-in area. And now, she is free to explore and learn and play and hug and laugh and dance and dig through boxes of clothes and help unload the plastic stuff from the dishwasher and splash in the tub and pull all the diapers out of her bag and run from the dog and swing and ride in a stroller and do art at church and eat snow cones and empty her backpack and eat the tips off her crayons and empty an entire roll of toilet paper and throw away anything and everything because she's obsessed with trash and try on other people's shoes and fall down because the shoes are too big and work her puzzles and throw cheerios all over the back seat and walk around with her brother's underwear on her head and blow kisses at people and empty the tupperware cabinet and eat the crocheted blanket and get frustrated when yarn gets on her tongue and rock her babies and load up her purse with treasures and..... EVERYTHING is new to her. And she can't take it in fast enough.
Her motor runs on HIGH until she falls ASLEEP... and sometimes, even when she's asleep, she's busy (thus my sleeping with one eye open because I'm afraid she's gonna break my face with her feet at night.)
So, we just completed our first week together.... just the two of us at home during the day. By Wednesday, I was frustrated because I felt like I wasn't getting ANYTHING done. I mean, I thought I'd do projects around the house and accomplish tons of stuff, but that wasn't happening and it was bothering me. Plus, there's the fact that SHE IS SO BUSY. Then, this afternoon as she was napping, I was sitting in the chair beside her bed, and the Lord explained it to me: "You're here for HER. Enjoy." I did not take a year off from school to get projects done or have a spotless house or start new hobbies. I took the year off to introduce this darling thing to family life and help my family merge into this new normal. That's my project.... and this week, I've been missing the point.
So, it's okay if there are dirty dishes in my sink. It's okay if my laundry room has some piles. It's okay if I don't cut out any squares for that quilt that I'll probably never get around to making. It's okay if I never learn to thread that sewing machine that I stole from my mother. It's okay if I never finish crocheting that pink blanket. It's okay if I never paint that piece of furniture. It's great if I CAN do all those things, but it's okay if I don't. It. Is. Okay.
Here is my project:
At the beginning of this week, if you'd asked me if we were being productive, I'd have said NO..... but NOW that the Lord has set me straight, I'd say we are FULL of accomplishments.
Here's a glimpse of how we're spending our time:
So, we just completed our first week together.... just the two of us at home during the day. By Wednesday, I was frustrated because I felt like I wasn't getting ANYTHING done. I mean, I thought I'd do projects around the house and accomplish tons of stuff, but that wasn't happening and it was bothering me. Plus, there's the fact that SHE IS SO BUSY. Then, this afternoon as she was napping, I was sitting in the chair beside her bed, and the Lord explained it to me: "You're here for HER. Enjoy." I did not take a year off from school to get projects done or have a spotless house or start new hobbies. I took the year off to introduce this darling thing to family life and help my family merge into this new normal. That's my project.... and this week, I've been missing the point.
So, it's okay if there are dirty dishes in my sink. It's okay if my laundry room has some piles. It's okay if I don't cut out any squares for that quilt that I'll probably never get around to making. It's okay if I never learn to thread that sewing machine that I stole from my mother. It's okay if I never finish crocheting that pink blanket. It's okay if I never paint that piece of furniture. It's great if I CAN do all those things, but it's okay if I don't. It. Is. Okay.
Here is my project:
At the beginning of this week, if you'd asked me if we were being productive, I'd have said NO..... but NOW that the Lord has set me straight, I'd say we are FULL of accomplishments.
Here's a glimpse of how we're spending our time:
** We go walking. Every morning after we drop the boys off at school, we go to the University Mall and walk. We get there around 8:05 and do lap after lap inside that place...... just me, Mary, and all the elderly of Tuscaloosa. Mary, of course, has already become popular. The women just ooh and ahh over her and we have begun bringing a BAGGIE to collect all the peppermints and gum that the grandpas always pull from their pockets. We look at the water, find the Mickey Mouse display at the Hallmark shop, and watch them make cookies at the cookie shop. It's a fun time.
** We practice sign language. The developmental specialist lady at the IAC has encouraged us to start SIGNING with Mary to help decrease some of the "pointing and squealing" that she's doing and encourage more meaningful communication (hopefully leading to some WORDS). The old-fashioned mom within thought, "WHAT? Just TALK already....", but ONE TIME, I taught her the sign for "more"..... But I didn't really follow through.... until I noticed the next day that she was USING the sign to tell me she wanted more rice! I just about lost it! No squealing.... no pointing.... just that little SIGN! So, now we know MORE and PLEASE and CUP..... we'll work on others later..... but it is a SIGHT to see her do those signs!! (Of course, she will point to something that she KNOWS isn't hers (like her brother's phone) and then sign PLEASE.... cutest thing ever, but not working, sister. You're still not getting that phone.)
** We play with TOYS. ALL DAY. When that same developmental lady met with us, she brought some toys for Mary. She wanted to watch her play and assess any orphanage delay that might be an issue. First toy: shape sorter. After the nice lady dumped the shapes on the floor, she looked to me and started explaining some of the techniques for play that might benefit Mary. Then, she said, "Now let's practice some of that and help her sort the shapes." Well, when we looked down, the shapes were sorted and Mary had moved on to the next toy in the bucket: the stacking cups. She took them apart, stacked them back, then turned them upside down and made a tower out of them. The lady just sat there watching..... and saying, "I was just going to show her how to do that." Yes. Well. Next toy, please. Then, she pulled out a shape puzzle. She recommended that we do just one shape at a time, but I politely said, "Well, at home, we just dump them all out and go from there...." So, we did..... and Mary worked that puzzle like a champ. As the lady smiled and scribbled notes, Mary grew tired of that toy bucket and moved on back to her backpack. As the specialist and I talked, Mary proceeded to find an emery board in the pocket of her backpack that I had stashed in there and began to file her nails. Then, she sat in my lap and filed mine. I was unimpressed.... we've done this dozens of times.... but apparently, the specialist was tickled by this. "Did I just watch her give herself, and then YOU, and manicure?" Well, yes. Orphanage delay? Uh. No. (Praising God for THIS one, I tell you!)
** We dress up. Girlfriend LOVES some shoes and bags and hats and sweaters and tutus. She'll usually dig through the clean laundry basket and try to put on its contents all at one time. Tutu on? Check. Hat with yellow bow? Check. Shoes that don't quite fit just yet? Check. Brother's underwear on our head? Check. Dish towel worn like a cape? Check. She's a very snazzy dresser.
** We sing and dance. Raffi is our guy.... and the little girl knows ALL the motions to the songs. Mostly, she does them when she THINKS I'm not looking, but she's got it: twinkle stars, itsy bitsy spiders, shaking the sillies out, and ducks that go "over the hills and far away." It's the best thing I've ever seen in the world. I try frequently to get video of these moves.... especially when Raffi does a "humongous, NOISY stretch" and Mary does it, too..... but she's on to me. No video, Mom. Just sit down and stretch with me! Okay, baby girl.
** We do paperwork. Every day involves a session of Mary sitting at the table with all her "supplies" doing her "paperwork." There are pens and pencils, notebooks, and sticky notes. There are envelopes and stickers and legal pads. The girl has stuff to do. And, just like her Mom, she LOVES office supplies. Here we are reading the mail...(SHOES ON THE WRONG FEET. It's an issue.)..
** We do other stuff, too..... like go to church..... (sat at that table in her class and listened to the story like she'd done it all her life.....)
** We practice sign language. The developmental specialist lady at the IAC has encouraged us to start SIGNING with Mary to help decrease some of the "pointing and squealing" that she's doing and encourage more meaningful communication (hopefully leading to some WORDS). The old-fashioned mom within thought, "WHAT? Just TALK already....", but ONE TIME, I taught her the sign for "more"..... But I didn't really follow through.... until I noticed the next day that she was USING the sign to tell me she wanted more rice! I just about lost it! No squealing.... no pointing.... just that little SIGN! So, now we know MORE and PLEASE and CUP..... we'll work on others later..... but it is a SIGHT to see her do those signs!! (Of course, she will point to something that she KNOWS isn't hers (like her brother's phone) and then sign PLEASE.... cutest thing ever, but not working, sister. You're still not getting that phone.)
** We play with TOYS. ALL DAY. When that same developmental lady met with us, she brought some toys for Mary. She wanted to watch her play and assess any orphanage delay that might be an issue. First toy: shape sorter. After the nice lady dumped the shapes on the floor, she looked to me and started explaining some of the techniques for play that might benefit Mary. Then, she said, "Now let's practice some of that and help her sort the shapes." Well, when we looked down, the shapes were sorted and Mary had moved on to the next toy in the bucket: the stacking cups. She took them apart, stacked them back, then turned them upside down and made a tower out of them. The lady just sat there watching..... and saying, "I was just going to show her how to do that." Yes. Well. Next toy, please. Then, she pulled out a shape puzzle. She recommended that we do just one shape at a time, but I politely said, "Well, at home, we just dump them all out and go from there...." So, we did..... and Mary worked that puzzle like a champ. As the lady smiled and scribbled notes, Mary grew tired of that toy bucket and moved on back to her backpack. As the specialist and I talked, Mary proceeded to find an emery board in the pocket of her backpack that I had stashed in there and began to file her nails. Then, she sat in my lap and filed mine. I was unimpressed.... we've done this dozens of times.... but apparently, the specialist was tickled by this. "Did I just watch her give herself, and then YOU, and manicure?" Well, yes. Orphanage delay? Uh. No. (Praising God for THIS one, I tell you!)
** We dress up. Girlfriend LOVES some shoes and bags and hats and sweaters and tutus. She'll usually dig through the clean laundry basket and try to put on its contents all at one time. Tutu on? Check. Hat with yellow bow? Check. Shoes that don't quite fit just yet? Check. Brother's underwear on our head? Check. Dish towel worn like a cape? Check. She's a very snazzy dresser.
( by the time I caught up with her here, the tutu was on and she was working on the shoes)
( look carefully..... those are her brother's underwear draped on her back like a cape.... she'd been wearing them for SEVERAL minutes on her head, but after I got over my hysterical laughter and almost FELL DOWN trying to find my camera, she'd slipped it off her head and was wearing a more appropriate look.... the underwear WRAP...)
(she was SO proud of this look....notice the shoes on the wrong feet... it's an issue.)
** We do paperwork. Every day involves a session of Mary sitting at the table with all her "supplies" doing her "paperwork." There are pens and pencils, notebooks, and sticky notes. There are envelopes and stickers and legal pads. The girl has stuff to do. And, just like her Mom, she LOVES office supplies. Here we are reading the mail...(SHOES ON THE WRONG FEET. It's an issue.)..
...... and help Mom in the bathroom......
All in all, I'd say this is TIME WELL SPENT.
Although I feel a bit out of sorts not going to school each day, I KNOW I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be for this season of my life. It's SO nice to have a "one track mind".... not feeling pulled in a hundred directions. Am I tired? YES. (Did you read the part about how BUSY she is???), but I'm having such a good time.
All in all, I'd say this is TIME WELL SPENT.
Although I feel a bit out of sorts not going to school each day, I KNOW I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be for this season of my life. It's SO nice to have a "one track mind".... not feeling pulled in a hundred directions. Am I tired? YES. (Did you read the part about how BUSY she is???), but I'm having such a good time.
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