Family is a good idea. And the cocoon.

Yesterday marked a full two weeks with our girl.  Only TWO weeks.  It seems like she's been with us forever..... I truly cannot remember what in the world we used to do before Mary.  (of course, I can't really remember what I did 30 minutes ago.....)  She is a doll.  She is brilliant.  She is funny.  She is certain of what she wants.  She is curious about everything.  She is learning.  She is growing.  She is amazing.

And until two weeks ago, she didn't have a family.

I can't even process that.  How can it be that this little peanut who seems to have always been a part of us didn't have "people" until two weeks ago?

Every child deserves a family.  Every child deserves to have at least ONE grown up who is totally and completely THEIRS.  Somebody who is excited to see them in the morning, who cheers when they put the puzzle piece in correctly, who fills up the Cheerio container again, who tells them they are smart and wonderful..... Every child deserves that.

But, Mary's only had a family for two weeks.  She's doing BEAUTIFULLY, but I know there is still much work to be done.  Parenting and nurturing and bonding and attaching with a newly adopted child is WAY different than bringing a biological child home from birth.  WAY different.  Joe and I have done our homework, read the books, gone to the workshops and have learned SO much about the work ahead of us...... and I sometimes wonder, as we happily begin the process of building the concept of family for our girl, what's going through HER mind?

Sometimes, I think it might go something like this.....

"Huh.  These people they dropped me off with sure do smile a lot.  They seem to be real happy about something.  I like it when they smile at me.  It makes me smile, too.  They keep saying "Mama and Daddy"..... I have no idea what they are talking about.  But I like it when they hold me close and tight.  That feels REALLY nice.  "Mama and Daddy" must mean that..... holding close and tight.

These people also feed me stuff.  I LIKE to eat, but I'm REALLY skinny.  I've been eating a lot with them.  The lady has even tried to cook fried rice for me...... it was sorta okay.... I ate it all so I wouldn't hurt her feelings.... they keep telling me that there will always be plenty of food for me, so I can pace myself.  "Mama and Daddy" must mean that..... there will always be plenty of food.

One of my favorite things about these new people is that they're always around.  I've been waking up a lot in the middle of the night, and when I open my eyes, one of them is always standing there.  They smile and whisper to me and pat my back.  They are ALWAYS there.  EVERY time I open my eyes.  Kinda makes me feel safe knowing that they're always there.  Sometimes, when I can't go back to sleep, the lady puts me in the bed with her.... cause she has even been sleeping in a bed in my room!  See?  They're ALWAYS there!  "Mama and Daddy" must mean that..... we are always here.

I also like these new people because they are FUN.  You should see the toys they have put out for me!  And they don't just throw the toys down and walk away either.  No way.  They sit in the floor with me for HOURS and play WITH me!  I like this so much.  They keep singing songs to me and tell me about some dudes named Raffi and Barry Manilow.  They read books to me ALL the time (I think the lady is a little over the top with these books, but whatever....)  They both take me outside in my car, help me work the puzzle, talk to me CONSTANTLY, and always seem to have a baby doll for me to love on.  I am having so much fun with them.  "Mama and Daddy" must mean that..... so much fun.

Sometimes these people sing special songs to me.  The guy rocks me to sleep at night and always sings the same thing.... Victory in Jesus.  The lady comforts me when I get a little upset sometimes, and her song is Jesus Loves Me.  They say that they'll start taking me to church in a few weeks.  And I sometimes see them close their eyes like they're praying for me or something.  They tell me that God has a plan for my life... and that Jesus DOES love me.  "Mama and Daddy" must mean that.... Jesus loves me."


WHEW.  I imagine there's WAY more than that going on in Mary's mind..... this is just the beginning.  These are things we're trying to teach her.  We want her to KNOW that we are always going to be here, that her life of rotating caregivers and being one of the masses is over..... we want her to relax and have fun and enjoy her family.  Cause family is a GOOD idea.

So, for now, we are laying low.  Even as the RIDICULOUS effects of jet lag begin to disappear, we are still hunkering down here at the house and getting to know each other.  All the adoption info calls this period of time "cocooning"..... and the homebody in me LOVES it.  We're sorta cushioning our girl from too much stimulation.... you know.... like in a cocoon.  Crowds and people are still a bit much for her, and probably will be for a while.  Although she seems happy and well-adjusted, her world got turned upside down 14 days ago.  So, we're keeping her close.  Of course, we will begin to get out and about.... so you might be seeing us appear here and there.....

But just so we don't really screw this whole thing up and cause Mary to have lifelong attachment issues with all important relationships in her life FOREVER (was that dramatic?)..... we're relying on the adoption experts to tell us what to do as we bond and attach with Miss Priss.  (Cause we ain't never adopted before and we don't want to do it wrong.)

ALERT:  We love you all dearly and are not trying to be the only ones to enjoy our girl.  But, if Karen Purvis (google her) says it, we believe it.  And are doing it.   So.......

For a while......
1) Joe and I (and occasionally Jack and Max) will be the only ones to hold her.  She's used to LOTS of different caregivers and part of the work ahead is to make sure she understands what a Mama and a Daddy are and what we do.  When she's hungry, we want her to come to us for food.  When she's tired, we want her to depend on us for rest.  When she's grumpy or hurt, we want her to come to us for comfort.  Babies learn this from the first day of life.  Mary's 20 months old and just starting to figure this out.  It will take time. So, if you're around her and she reaches for you to hold her (which she probably will....), just point to one of us and tell her, "There's your Mama/Daddy/brother.  They'll get you!"  (I know.... brutal that you don't get to hold her.... but I promise it won't last forever!)

2) We will also need to be the only ones to feed her.  I PROMISE that she will come to you looking for food.  And if you're holding a box of Cheerios or a container of Gerber Puffs.... LOOK OUT.  Cause she will mow you down.  But, as you fall to the floor, throw that box of Cheerios to one of us and let us give it to her.  Again.... it's part of the work we're working on..... and it will make a huge difference in our ability to truly bond/attach with her.

3) We'll also be her sole comforters for now.  As she's taking you out going for the Cheerios.... if she bumps her head and starts to WAIL.... point to us.  Send her to us.  We will love on her and comfort her and find the Hello Kitty bandaids.  Again.  Mama and Daddy (and sometimes brothers) have got to be the ones she seeks out when she needs ANYTHING.

We have such a precious village that surrounds us.  We have felt your love and prayers and encouragement.  You are bringing meals and giving gifts.  We are overwhelmed.  We can't WAIT for Mary to emerge from the POWELL FAMILY COCOON that we're going to be in for a while and meet every single one of you.  She's going to love you all dearly.  Thank you so much for being a part of this miracle.

Wanna see some pictures of the miracle?  Well, if you've read through all of that and made it this far, you deserve some pictures......

No hats.  No hairbows.  Geesh.

Yes to the noodles.

Yes to the fried rice.

First ride in the carseat!  Yesterday morning, the boys, Mary, and I ventured out to go to Sams.  All went well until......

five minutes later.  We didn't make it to Sams.  Precious thing.... that carseat must be some kind of comfortable! (Thank you, fabulous fourth grade class, for this ultra-comfy sleep inducer!) You'll be happy to know that we DID successfully make it to Sams this morning.  7:30.... we were the ONLY ones in the store.  Nice.  She did fall asleep on the way home..... 

Puffs are a MUST.

First bite of a Krispy Kreme.  She like.

Shades!

This child loves her shoes.  I am not even kidding you when I say that we played with her shoes for like two hours yesterday.  Put these shoes on, take these shoes off.  Put the socks on and put the other shoes on.  Take those shoes off.  Take the socks off.  Put these shoes on with the socks.  Put these shoes on without the socks.  OHMYWORD.  

Loving the books.  (see me smiling?)

And bonus video footage:

Well, that's it for today.  We are all feeling MUCH more normal and rested and are hoping to get ourselves into a routine soon.  Mama likes the routines.....

Life in the cocoon is sweet.