There are three large holidays/festivals in China..... Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, and the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. While Mary grows up.... and for as long as she wants.... we want to expose her to the traditions of her heritage. That sweet girl gets to not only enjoy OUR special days - Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving - but those of the Chinese culture as well! Apparently, the Powells are gonna be partying all year!!!
This year, the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival is being celebrated Sept. 19-21. While there are some practices and beliefs connected to the holiday that we, as Christians, won't be focused on, there ARE some sweet legends and stories that symbolize special aspects of Chinese culture. This particular festival focuses on LOVE and FAMILY - two of my favorite things!
The legend behind the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival tells of a man, Houyi. Legend has it that there were ten suns that were scorching the earth and, because everything was burning up, people were dying. So, Houyi used his sharp-shooting skills to shoot down nine of the suns. Because of his bravery and skill, he became a hero to the people and was rewarded with an elixir that, when consumed, would make him become immortal. Houyi, however, did NOT want to become immortal. Why? Because he LOVED his WIFE, Chang'e, and wanted to stay with her. (I love that!) He gave the elixir to his wife for safekeeping. As the years went on, Houyi became the master of many. Those under his charge were loyal and obedient - except for one. Peng Yeng wanted one thing from his master - the elixir - so he snuck into Houyi's home one evening when he was away with a plan to attack Chang'e and drink the elixir. Chang'e knew she could not overcome the evil servant, so, out of desperation, she drank the elixir herself. It sent her up and up and up into the sky until she eventually stopped on the moon. Houyi spent his days and nights mourning the loss of his wife and set up a table in his yard with her favorite foods - including the moon cake. Those who respected Houyi joined him and also set up tables of food in their own yards. This became a tradition every year and gave the people the opportunity to gather together and give thanks for their safety and well-being.
The Mid-Autumn Moon festival focuses on REUNIONS and giving THANKS.
The traditional food of the festival is a MOON CAKE, and it is customary in China to present these pastries to those you love. Families reunite and show gratitude for the "harvest" of life. Families also spend time during the festival gazing at the Harvest Moon and thinking of those in their family who are not with them..... knowing that they are looking at that very same moon.
Now. That was a lot of words. Can you tell I've been researching the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival? Well, I have. And even though the Powells are not planning to burn any incense or worship the moon god, there ARE things that I find sweet and special about this holiday.
REUNIONS: being with your family is a good thing. We are homebodies here in Powellville and actually spend a LOT of time together anyway..... but even when they're grown, I hope my people come back to see me. They don't even have to bring me a moon cake. But I want there to be such a STRONG bond between Joe, Mikki, Jack, Max, and Mary that we desire to spend time together - even when we're apart.
THANKS: There is OH so much to be thankful for. The year we've just experienced will FOREVER be special - I'm thankful for that. The years AHEAD promise to be full of fun and sweetness and new traditions - I'm thankful for THAT, too.
MOON: No matter where you live on Earth, we all see the same moon. I love that during the festival, families look up at the beautiful harvest moon thinking of family members far away that might be gazing up at the same moon. Although Mary is VERY MUCH a part of us, I can't help but think that she also has family members on the other side of the world who can see the very same moon we can see. I pray that they find comfort during this moon-gazing festival. I pray that the Lord gives them a peace in knowing that their little one is LOVED and happy and safe and well.
So. There's your Chinese Culture Lesson for today - the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival.
Now. Are you wondering where my meltdown comes into play?
Well.... I ventured out this afternoon to find us some Moon Cakes. In town, we have an Asian market - Mr. Chen's Authentic Chinese Cooking and Oriental Market. Shame on me that I haven't been in this place until today...... It. Is. Wonderful.
So wonderful, in fact, that I had a MELTDOWN right in front of the frozen foods. When I stepped into that market, I felt like I was in a time warp. It SMELLED like China. It LOOKED like China. The folks inside were speaking Chinese. I literally felt like when I walked out the door, I would be back in Shanghai. Now, there were LOTS of emotions that I felt while in China - but I was so engrossed in the MISSION TO JUST GET MY DAUGHTER - that I never did cry or have any sort of come apart while there. But this afternoon, when I was looking at the steamed buns (JUST like the ones we had in Shanghai) and perused the lovely tea sets and ordered my cup of tea, I had all those emotions WASH over me..... and I started sobbing. I immediately texted Joe: "I'm in the middle of this Asian market CRYING because it is SO reminding me of China. They are going to think I'm crazy, but it is bringing up ALL those emotions I was feeling then. Like TEARS are falling on my phone. I'm hiding in the noodle aisle."
I managed to get Mary some fried rice and, although they were out of Moon Cakes, I came home with a sweet pastry that we'll enjoy later tonight. I cried all the way home, and the children have totally made fun of me for crying at the market. But I've been through A LOT in the last 3 months, and it all just sorta came out somewhere between the freeze dried seaweed and the frozen dumplings.
I LOVE my FAMILY. I'm THANKFUL to a mother and father far, far away who, for reasons I may never know, made decisions that led us to our daughter.
I'll be looking at that big harvest moon tonight..... and thinking about all of these things. And I might cry. Again.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
You say it's your birthday!!! Da nanananana...
Today is Joe Powell's birthday. I think he is wonderful. Back when Facebook first started, there was a "thing" going around where everyone would write "25 things" about yourself. Joe didn't participate, but I frequently stalked his Facebook page at the time, so I did him a HUGE favor and wrote his 25 things FOR him. Isn't that what ALL husbands want? For their WIFE to write 25 things about them and then publish it for all their friends to see? Joe - You. Are. Welcome.
So, just in case some folks weren't around the FB then, or aren't actually FB "friends" with Joe, I've decided to honor him today - his birthday - on the blog - by REPOSTING his list of 25 things - again, written by ME. This is dated January 30, 2009, so some things have changed..... I'll post the list..... and then do some explaining.
Twenty-five random things about Joe Powell…. (by Mikki Powell)
1. He can name a myriad of movies based on a snippet of a quote from given movie.
2. He snores…..loudly.
3. He enjoys eating food….almost any food (much to the delight of his wife who does NOT consider herself one of the world’s finest chefs.)
4. He is interested in history….his own, the world’s, our country’s, and that of all those in facebook land….he is even the only person to show any interest at all in his mother-in-law’s geneology efforts.
5. It relaxes him to float on Lake Tuscaloosa on his pontoon boat listening to Alabama on the CD player…."Oh, play me some mountain music….."
6. Disney makes him happy…and his favorite “ride” is running across the parks to get fast passes just so we won’t miss anything!
7. He truly, honestly, sincerely, and totally believes that the reason all of you joined facebook is to find out what’s going on in his life moment to moment. "They like me…..they really like me!"
8. He gets up every morning at 4 am so he can spend an hour with God before starting his day.
9. He’s pitiful when he’s sick….Cortaid and Nyquil are all a person needs.
10. His past in the restaurant business has taught him that the customer is always right….and a good businessman will do whatever it takes to prove it.
11. He does “laundry for Jesus” at NBC – odd job for a feller…. But then he also does all the laundry at home, too!
12. He is terrible – do you hear me? – TERRIBLE – at buying presents.
13. Casablanca is his favorite movie and he can quote the entire thing.
14. He leads his children in Bible study and prayer every night.
15. He can make his wife madder than spit by sneaking a peek at his woobie (aka iPhone) every five seconds – even when on vacation or out with the family!
16. “The Joy of Painting” with Bob Ross lulls him to sleep….so he has about a trillion episodes recorded on the DVR. Happy trees….
17. He has a lovely voice, but can’t really carry a decent tune…is a bit tone deaf, but is in just about every musical act that NBC has to offer. AND – he honestly believes that Dr. John has been waiting for him all of his life!
18. The tip of his ring finger is buried in the front yard of 79 Deerfield (the result of an unfortunate door-slamming incident).
19. He enjoys being social….in person, through email, through facebook – whatever…(and his wife is a little bit the opposite –she’d rather be cozy at home!)
20. He pays ten bucks to take a nap at the Cobb Theaters – hasn’t seen an entire movie in YEARS!
21. He is a VERY good public servant – but a BAD politician.
22. It stresses him greatly to be out of town on a Sunday.
23. He can remember the EXACT dates of almost every event in his life (and the events of history, for that matter)---well, it was October 3 of 1983 and…..
24. He lured his wife into accepting his marriage proposal by first showing her the video presentation of Richard Nixon’s funeral. Yep, that’s right…such a romantic!
25. He’s really quite a nerd….but has gotten much cooler since he married Mikki.
Now.... a few of these deserve a bit more detail or altering - it HAS been a while since these were written.
#2: He finally had a sleep study. He's fine. He just snores.
#3: One of his birthday gifts was the new book by the guy on ESPN who does all the Taste of the Town spots in the different college towns... Todd Eldridge (is that his name? Anyway...) This book gives descriptions and recipes from the various Taste of the Town places in tons of college towns across the nation. Joe's goal is to go to and EAT at every one of these places. Good goal.
#5: Ever since we got married, Joe has wanted a boat. He grew up on Lake Tuscaloosa and it's definitely one of his happy places. Recently, we were a bit short on our funds as we got ready to travel to China to adopt Mary. So, JOE SOLD THE BOAT. The boat that he REALLY enjoyed. The boat he'd wanted for so long. He sold it. To go get our daughter. And he didn't let on like it bothered him or was the least bit of a sacrifice. Precious.
#11: He doesn't wash the baptismal robes at church anymore, but he DOES still do laundry at home, and since that's such a blessing to ME.... I"m gonna still call it doing "Laundry for Jesus."
#12: He now has sense enough to either let me buy my OWN presents, or he goes STRICTLY by the list that I MIGHT leave stuck about on a sticky note.
#14: Not only is he the spiritual leader of our home, but I often have people approach me at church or around town and tell about how Joe has ministered to them, too.
#15: It no long irritates me when he's on his phone..... cause the other two males in my house are now old enough to have their own phones, and they do the same thing. It's fine.... I'll talk to Mary at dinner.
#16: Mary likes watching Bob Ross now, too.
#25: No truer words were ever spoken.
I love you, Joe Powell.... and I love our little family.
Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!
And don't forget that mine is next Friday.
So, just in case some folks weren't around the FB then, or aren't actually FB "friends" with Joe, I've decided to honor him today - his birthday - on the blog - by REPOSTING his list of 25 things - again, written by ME. This is dated January 30, 2009, so some things have changed..... I'll post the list..... and then do some explaining.
Twenty-five random things about Joe Powell…. (by Mikki Powell)
1. He can name a myriad of movies based on a snippet of a quote from given movie.
2. He snores…..loudly.
3. He enjoys eating food….almost any food (much to the delight of his wife who does NOT consider herself one of the world’s finest chefs.)
4. He is interested in history….his own, the world’s, our country’s, and that of all those in facebook land….he is even the only person to show any interest at all in his mother-in-law’s geneology efforts.
5. It relaxes him to float on Lake Tuscaloosa on his pontoon boat listening to Alabama on the CD player…."Oh, play me some mountain music….."
6. Disney makes him happy…and his favorite “ride” is running across the parks to get fast passes just so we won’t miss anything!
7. He truly, honestly, sincerely, and totally believes that the reason all of you joined facebook is to find out what’s going on in his life moment to moment. "They like me…..they really like me!"
8. He gets up every morning at 4 am so he can spend an hour with God before starting his day.
9. He’s pitiful when he’s sick….Cortaid and Nyquil are all a person needs.
10. His past in the restaurant business has taught him that the customer is always right….and a good businessman will do whatever it takes to prove it.
11. He does “laundry for Jesus” at NBC – odd job for a feller…. But then he also does all the laundry at home, too!
12. He is terrible – do you hear me? – TERRIBLE – at buying presents.
13. Casablanca is his favorite movie and he can quote the entire thing.
14. He leads his children in Bible study and prayer every night.
15. He can make his wife madder than spit by sneaking a peek at his woobie (aka iPhone) every five seconds – even when on vacation or out with the family!
16. “The Joy of Painting” with Bob Ross lulls him to sleep….so he has about a trillion episodes recorded on the DVR. Happy trees….
17. He has a lovely voice, but can’t really carry a decent tune…is a bit tone deaf, but is in just about every musical act that NBC has to offer. AND – he honestly believes that Dr. John has been waiting for him all of his life!
18. The tip of his ring finger is buried in the front yard of 79 Deerfield (the result of an unfortunate door-slamming incident).
19. He enjoys being social….in person, through email, through facebook – whatever…(and his wife is a little bit the opposite –she’d rather be cozy at home!)
20. He pays ten bucks to take a nap at the Cobb Theaters – hasn’t seen an entire movie in YEARS!
21. He is a VERY good public servant – but a BAD politician.
22. It stresses him greatly to be out of town on a Sunday.
23. He can remember the EXACT dates of almost every event in his life (and the events of history, for that matter)---well, it was October 3 of 1983 and…..
24. He lured his wife into accepting his marriage proposal by first showing her the video presentation of Richard Nixon’s funeral. Yep, that’s right…such a romantic!
25. He’s really quite a nerd….but has gotten much cooler since he married Mikki.
Now.... a few of these deserve a bit more detail or altering - it HAS been a while since these were written.
#2: He finally had a sleep study. He's fine. He just snores.
#3: One of his birthday gifts was the new book by the guy on ESPN who does all the Taste of the Town spots in the different college towns... Todd Eldridge (is that his name? Anyway...) This book gives descriptions and recipes from the various Taste of the Town places in tons of college towns across the nation. Joe's goal is to go to and EAT at every one of these places. Good goal.
#5: Ever since we got married, Joe has wanted a boat. He grew up on Lake Tuscaloosa and it's definitely one of his happy places. Recently, we were a bit short on our funds as we got ready to travel to China to adopt Mary. So, JOE SOLD THE BOAT. The boat that he REALLY enjoyed. The boat he'd wanted for so long. He sold it. To go get our daughter. And he didn't let on like it bothered him or was the least bit of a sacrifice. Precious.
#11: He doesn't wash the baptismal robes at church anymore, but he DOES still do laundry at home, and since that's such a blessing to ME.... I"m gonna still call it doing "Laundry for Jesus."
#12: He now has sense enough to either let me buy my OWN presents, or he goes STRICTLY by the list that I MIGHT leave stuck about on a sticky note.
#14: Not only is he the spiritual leader of our home, but I often have people approach me at church or around town and tell about how Joe has ministered to them, too.
#15: It no long irritates me when he's on his phone..... cause the other two males in my house are now old enough to have their own phones, and they do the same thing. It's fine.... I'll talk to Mary at dinner.
#16: Mary likes watching Bob Ross now, too.
#25: No truer words were ever spoken.
I love you, Joe Powell.... and I love our little family.
Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!
And don't forget that mine is next Friday.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Can you hear me now?
Well, Lil' Bit got herself some tubes in her ears today. We woke that darling thing up at 5:30 and, without a sip of water or a crust of bread, whisked her off to the surgical center. She was extremely pleased with the sticker stash they gave her and that kept her busy until the folks in scrubs started working on her. Once again, the questions about her medical history were tricky.... we don't know her birth weight or if she was premature or if she was born in a hospital or if she's allergic to those latex gloves. I guess I would have gotten a bit emotional answering, "I don't know" to all those questions if we hadn't been so busy dodging the Minnie Mouse she was throwing at us or peeling Care Bear stickers off the tile floor.
When it was time to go, Mary went obediently to the nurse (who was a familiar face from our Sunday School class.... don't you just love it when the Lord does stuff like that?) and didn't even whimper. They sent us back out to the waiting room and, in just a few minutes, were already calling us back to talk with the doctor.
Mary did beautifully during the procedure. As suspected, there was a LOT of fluid on both ears and TONS of pressure, so the prediction is that her hearing has DRASTICALLY improved. We're also hoping that some LANGUAGE comes on fairly quickly now that she doesn't hear like she's underwater!
We were warned (several times) to expect an inconsolable child once we saw her in recovery. The doctor and nurses all mentioned (repeatedly) that little kids wake up fussy and are miserable for the first thirty minutes or so. We took a deep breath and rounded the corner into her recovery room.... and were greeted with one of those big smiles that she gives every day when she just wakes up. The nurse rocking her was amazed...."This child is precious." Yes, dear nurse... and so, so BRAVE.
We spent the 30 minutes (that they give you so the child can calm down) happily munching on Krispy Kreme donuts that Dad wisely snagged from the waiting room and playing with some more stickers. Not one fuss. Not one tear. We waved and blew kisses at nurses and doctors as they walked by our room, and soon, three or four of them just came on in and hung out with us. Mary has a way of drawing you into her world..... I love her.
Once the donuts were gone, they decided to go ahead and send us home. We were back in the car exactly 90 minutes after we'd gone in that building. Nice.
Currently, she has enjoyed some leftover deviled eggs for lunch, watched Dad cut the grass from her perch in her wagon, and danced a little bit to her Raffi songs. She fell asleep almost immediately at nap time.
Thanks for all who prayed us through this little procedure! It is so minor compared to what lots of parents and little ones go through, but it's just another step to getting Mary all the care and love she needs and deserves!
When it was time to go, Mary went obediently to the nurse (who was a familiar face from our Sunday School class.... don't you just love it when the Lord does stuff like that?) and didn't even whimper. They sent us back out to the waiting room and, in just a few minutes, were already calling us back to talk with the doctor.
Mary did beautifully during the procedure. As suspected, there was a LOT of fluid on both ears and TONS of pressure, so the prediction is that her hearing has DRASTICALLY improved. We're also hoping that some LANGUAGE comes on fairly quickly now that she doesn't hear like she's underwater!
We were warned (several times) to expect an inconsolable child once we saw her in recovery. The doctor and nurses all mentioned (repeatedly) that little kids wake up fussy and are miserable for the first thirty minutes or so. We took a deep breath and rounded the corner into her recovery room.... and were greeted with one of those big smiles that she gives every day when she just wakes up. The nurse rocking her was amazed...."This child is precious." Yes, dear nurse... and so, so BRAVE.
We spent the 30 minutes (that they give you so the child can calm down) happily munching on Krispy Kreme donuts that Dad wisely snagged from the waiting room and playing with some more stickers. Not one fuss. Not one tear. We waved and blew kisses at nurses and doctors as they walked by our room, and soon, three or four of them just came on in and hung out with us. Mary has a way of drawing you into her world..... I love her.
Once the donuts were gone, they decided to go ahead and send us home. We were back in the car exactly 90 minutes after we'd gone in that building. Nice.
Currently, she has enjoyed some leftover deviled eggs for lunch, watched Dad cut the grass from her perch in her wagon, and danced a little bit to her Raffi songs. She fell asleep almost immediately at nap time.
Gotta keep an eye on that Minnie Mouse!
Busy girl..... never sits still.
That is, until the nurse comes in to check us over.... then we get VERY still.
Blow Minnie's nose......
Sporting our furry Minnie Mouse socks today. Don't want those toes to get cold during surgery!
Dad was BRILLIANT to secure the donuts from the waiting room. Those were the ticket for a quick recovery!
Thanks for all who prayed us through this little procedure! It is so minor compared to what lots of parents and little ones go through, but it's just another step to getting Mary all the care and love she needs and deserves!
Monday, September 16, 2013
FAQ and a picture or two.
Because Mary doesn't LOOK like us, we get a lot of stares when we're out and about. Lots of folks are, I'm sure, trying to figure out if we're babysitting or have borrowed a cute kid for the day. Some just kinda look at us and never say a word, but some are brave enough to ask us some questions. The most frequent question: "Is she yours?" And, proudly, I say YES!
Then, sometimes, when Mary gives them a big wave and blows them a slobbery kiss, they'll feel comfortable enough to probe deeper..... and I get it.... people are curious. I get it because I WAS ONE OF THEM. I'll never forget that YEARS ago in IKEA in Atlanta, I saw a family that had a precious little Asian daughter and I'm pretty sure I followed them around that massive store. I was so distracted by their family that I couldn't even shop... in IKEA. I mean....
Recently, as we've ventured out to church and Max's football games and Jack's activities and the WalMart, more and more people have begun to seek to understand and clarify that which is Mary Powell and how she became part of our family. I've tried to be very open with our story, but when I looked back to the very beginnings of this here blog, I shook my head when I realized that I'd never really explained a lot of the "what in the world made us want to do this" stuff.
And I AM OH SO HAPPY TO ANSWER ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS!
Recently, we've had a lot of people who are also curious about the whole adoption process.... maybe even folks who think, "We could do that." So. Today, I'm gonna answer a WHOLE bunch of questions..... some that are FREQUENTLY ASKED.... and some that I just want you to know the answer to.
Disclaimer: For now, Joe and I don't feel led to start a revolution and demand that everyone we know adopt. We are BEYOND thankful that the Lord called us to adoption, but we realize that it's not His calling for everyone. Since we've been home, though.... and especially recently... the Lord has hinted to both Joe and me that He is stirring hearts for the orphan, and He has made it clear to us that we are to be a resource if needed. If you've EVER had a fleeting thought that maybe you would consider adoption some day.... then we are here for you! (And just so you know... if 7% of the world's Christians would adopt just ONE child, there would be no orphan crisis. Or so I'm told.....)
So. On with the story.....
Q: What made you want to adopt?
A: Well. I had thought about adoption off and on for years. As I mentioned before, I was most intrigued by the adoption stories of others and always thought that maybe we could adopt??? But, when I'd mentioned it to Joe, he'd say, "Are you crazy?" And my answer was: YES. I think so! Clearly, it wasn't the Lord's timing just yet..... until November of 2011. I was feeling a MAJOR desire to add another child to our family, but I felt ZERO desire to physically birth another one. It was CLEAR to me what we should do...... I desperately wanted to adopt. I became obsessed with stories, books, blogs, videos, etc. telling the adoption stories of others and found myself having trouble focusing on ANYTHING else. I prayed and cried.... all the while, keeping it to myself. Finally, in February of 2012, Joe came home one night from work and I was CRYING. Like... CRYING. I told him that I was either going crazy, or that we were supposed to adopt a child. And, for the first time, he did not dismiss it. He took a deep breath, smiled, and said, "Well, let me pray about it and we can talk it through." TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER, he confessed that he hadn't stopped thinking about it, couldn't stop crying, and that, yes.... maybe this WAS the Lord's plan for us. WOO HOO!!! We talked it through for the next few weeks and then submitted our application in early April.
Q: What agency did you use and why?
A: Here's how much I knew about adoption: I didn't even know you needed an agency. I don't know WHERE or HOW I thought you went about getting a child.... I guess I'd never THOUGHT about that part..... but that night in February when I told Joe, I googled (for the zillionth time) "international adoption" and the FIRST listing in google (for the FIRST time ever) was Lifeline Children's Services. Oh. A Christian adoption agency. Oh. They are in Birmingham. Oh. THEY ARE HAVING AN INFORMATIONAL MEETING IN TUSCALOOSA THE NEXT NIGHT!!! Okay, Lord! We get it! We're on the right track! We went to that informational meeting the next night and never researched another agency after that. The Lord didn't waste any time.... took us right to the most precious, godly group of people that were completely and totally awesome through our entire experience. When I grow up, I want to work at Lifeline. I kid you not.
Q: Why China? Why not adopt from the United States?
A: This is a GREAT question. And I have NO answer for it other than to say, "That's where our daughter was." The Lord NEVER tugged our hearts towards domestic adoption. The Lord NEVER nudged us to consider another country. It was ALWAYS a young girl from China. ALWAYS. Some folks are called to adopt domestically.... because that's where their children are. Some families go to Ethiopia or Uganda or Russia or Columbia.... because that's where the Lord leads them. I do not pretend to know why the Lord leads us where he leads us..... but I know that His hand was on Mary Powell, and out of a great loss that she suffered when she lost her first family through abandonment, MY family gained a precious daughter and sister. He knew she needed somebody..... and it just so happens, we needed her, too. God sets the lonely in families, my friends..... and sometimes, He goes a great distance to do it!
Q: How did you choose Special Needs over Non-Special Needs?
A: When we began our paperwork, we were actually going to pursue a "healthy" child. In the adoption world, this is a "Non-Special Needs" adoption: NSN. Then, we discovered that we'd be waiting over SIX years..... that's how long a NSN adoption from China is taking these days..... and, well, Joe and I aren't getting any younger. So, we began to research and ask questions about the Special Needs kids. And, like any situation, once you do your homework, you begin to realize that it's not as scary as it seems. Mary's adoption was considered SN... her medical special need is CHD... heart defect. In Mary's case, she had her surgery in China at three months old. (We actually had an appointment with a cardiologist and the repair was done beautifully. Mary's heart is healthy!) Some children have NOT had surgeries that they might need yet and some have special needs that are not "medically correctible". But.... when filling out our initial paperwork with Lifeline (and all agencies do this, I think).... we filled out a LENGTHY form identifying the special needs we felt we had the CAPACITY to handle. (This is one of the many ways that adoption is different than having biological children.... you really can put a lot of thought into what you feel you can and cannot handle as far as needs go....) Of course, the Lord already had Mary picked out for us, so He led us in filling out that form!
Q: Doesn't it cost a lot of money to adopt a child?
A: Yes. Adoption is costly. And we did not have ONE DIME of the money in our pocket when we filled out that initial application. NOT ONE DIME. But, we figured that if the Lord was calling us to this, He wasn't going to just say, "Well, good luck finding the money!" Our God is much more gracious and in control than that! There are LOTS of families who do a marvelous job of fundraising to secure the funds it takes to complete an adoption..... they sell tshirts, jewelry, coffee, pillows, blankets.... they auction off ipads and football tickets..... they have yard sales and spaghetti suppers. There are even a lot of GRANTS you can write to help with adoption costs. Folks who fundraise to adopt are ROCK STARS. They're doing something REALLY hard in the middle of something that's already REALLY difficult. If you see an adoptive family selling a tshirt or necklace: BUY IT. I mean it. BUY IT. In our particular case, the Lord was SERIOUS that we not look back or question what we were doing, and He knew that funding would be a major stumbling block for us: between a tax refund, the selling of our boat, one big yard sale, and a bonus from Joe's work, we had enough money when we needed it..... and that was the key: WHEN WE NEEDED IT. We NEVER had the whole amount sitting in the bank. But, when we would have a payment due so we could complete the home study, Joe got a bigger than anticipated bonus at work. When it was time to secure Visas and finish off the last of the agency fees, Joe earned rewards from his company for something he didn't even know he'd done. When it was time to pay for travel, we sold our boat - IN ONE WEEK. The Lord was ALL OVER THIS.
Q: Aren't you worried that knowing she is adopted will bother her some day?
A: No. Maybe I should be worried about that.... maybe I'm being naive. But our plan is to be very open and honest with Mary as she grows and asks questions. If she WANTS a connection to her Chinese heritage, we'll live it up celebrating Chinese New Year and learning Mandarin and such. If she asks questions about her birth family, we'll tell her what we know. If she wants, we'll take her back to China some day. But my HOPE is that she will appreciate the uniqueness of her life story. My hope is that she will realize how precious the Lord is and how he saw her in China and us in the United States and knit our stories together as a family. I hope she understands... REALLY GETS.... how utterly thankful and humbled we are that she is a part of us now.
Q: Does she know how lucky she is to have been adopted?
A: She's not lucky. Mary's coming into our wacky, happy family was not luck. It was the result of a tremendous loss for her. All children should be able to live and grow up and know their birth families, but for MANY reasons, not all children can. Mary's beginnings are hard and we may NEVER understand the WHY of her start. Yes, family is a BLESSING, but it's a blessing that I'm not sure ANY of us appreciate for REAL. My boys have been with us since the first day of their lives and I'm not sure they truly appreciate how BLESSED they are. I mean, I've been adopted by the ALMIGHTY GOD and I'm not sure I fully appreciate and comprehend how blessed I am. But one thing I DEFINITELY want ALL THREE of my children to know is that they are WANTED and CHOSEN (by their Earthly Mom and Dad AND by their HEAVENLY FATHER)..... that's WAY beyond luck.
Q: Does she speak Chinese?
A: Dunno. If she does, she's not spoken any to us. Doesn't speak the English, either. Whatever language "grunt and squeal and point" is.... THAT'S the language she speaks.
Q: Why was she abandoned?
A: We are often asked questions about her abandonment and, honestly, we don't know much. What we've shared is that she was found at two months old in the Shanghai Railway Station. She had a note with her telling her true birthdate and that she was left with 80RMB (Chinese money). Those are the facts that we felt comfortable sharing. There are a few other things that we've uncovered through her file or speaking with the orphanage workers, etc..... but..... that's HER story to tell. Again, the beginning for an orphan is sad, but we're going to do our best to make sure she has a happily ever after!
Q: Is she transitioning well?
A: Yes! We've been cocooning pretty heavily, and we feel certain that she understands who her core people are.... (we call ourselves her Core Four!) One of us is still with her every second and we feel blessed that we've had the opportunity to do that. We are beginning to encourage Mary to interact with others, though.... let grandparents hold her, give folks high five, give people at church a hug, etc. Sometimes she does.... sometimes she doesn't...... just like any kid, I guess. We spend a lot of time at the house, and she definitely feels confident in her home environment. She is sometimes rather reserved in public places, but at home, she's relaxed and happy. She understands us, is MOSTLY obedient, and has settled beautifully into a routine. We absolutely positively know how blessed we are to have had such a lovely re-entry with this new person. So. Thankful.
Q: What does she eat?
A: Rice. Noodles. Bananas. Pound cake. Grits. Potato chips. Cheerios. Yogurt. Coleslaw. Biscuit and gravy. Fried eggs. Broccoli cheese soup. English peas. Applesauce. Black eyed peas. Fried okra. Chicken. Steamed broccoli. ETC. Thankfully, the ENORMOUS, UNBELIEVABLE amount of food that she was putting away in China and in the first couple of weeks home has lessened into a NORMAL amount for a little kid her age. I'm so happy about this.... because I was certain that she was going to EXPLODE.
Q: How are the boys doing with a new sister?
A: Half the time, she's like a new puppy: cute and fun to look at and play with. The other half of the time, she's like a pesky little sister who touches their phones and slobbers on their iPads.
Q: Isn't adoption a risk? Couldn't it really change your life?
A: Yes, I guess it's a risk. You don't know this child you are bringing into your family and any family history and background is nonexistent. It certainly requires a huge leap of faith.... and these unknowns are things that I will probably continue to pray about as long as I live. Does adoption change your life? Oh, mercy.... I hope so! I hope that NONE of us are ever the same. Before we were obedient to the Lord's calling to adopt, my world was TINY and I felt very much in control and on top of things. THEN, we began our journey to Mary. My world expanded (having a child on the other side of the world will do that to you) and I felt so very much out of control (having a child on the other side of the world will do THAT to you, too.) I was (and kinda still am) an emotional WRECK, so I looked to the Lord for comfort and peace and, sometimes, the ability to breath. I have absolutely NO DOUBT that this was one of the major reasons that the Lord asked this of us.... so that we would be forced to let HIM be in control. I also hope that the boys' lives are forever changed. They have seen what love has done in Mary's life.... how less than three months ago, she had NO ONE.... and now she's such a precious, cherished part of our family. We all wonder what we would do without her little smiling face. I hope my boys ALWAYS have tender hearts for those who need a family or who need to know love. Yes. A changed life? Let it be so.
Q: Are there things about adoption that you haven't shared on this blog?
A: I could absolutely go on and on.... could happily talk about what adoption has done for our lives and exactly how the process works and where to find out about waiting children and which folks are currently fundraising for their adoptions and why China has so many orphans and what we packed for our two week stay in China and what other countries need families to adopt and what resources are available to educate adopting families and ways you can be matched with a child and the types of special needs that are most common and on and on and on and on..... I love talking about it. So.... PLEASE.... if you are curious about ANYTHING.... anything AT ALL.... please let me know.
God knows the names and faces of every one of the 147 million orphans worldwide, and He has chosen families to help Him love on these children. We were one of them. THANK GOODNESS.
Speaking of faces.... I have pictures!
Then, sometimes, when Mary gives them a big wave and blows them a slobbery kiss, they'll feel comfortable enough to probe deeper..... and I get it.... people are curious. I get it because I WAS ONE OF THEM. I'll never forget that YEARS ago in IKEA in Atlanta, I saw a family that had a precious little Asian daughter and I'm pretty sure I followed them around that massive store. I was so distracted by their family that I couldn't even shop... in IKEA. I mean....
Recently, as we've ventured out to church and Max's football games and Jack's activities and the WalMart, more and more people have begun to seek to understand and clarify that which is Mary Powell and how she became part of our family. I've tried to be very open with our story, but when I looked back to the very beginnings of this here blog, I shook my head when I realized that I'd never really explained a lot of the "what in the world made us want to do this" stuff.
And I AM OH SO HAPPY TO ANSWER ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS!
Recently, we've had a lot of people who are also curious about the whole adoption process.... maybe even folks who think, "We could do that." So. Today, I'm gonna answer a WHOLE bunch of questions..... some that are FREQUENTLY ASKED.... and some that I just want you to know the answer to.
Disclaimer: For now, Joe and I don't feel led to start a revolution and demand that everyone we know adopt. We are BEYOND thankful that the Lord called us to adoption, but we realize that it's not His calling for everyone. Since we've been home, though.... and especially recently... the Lord has hinted to both Joe and me that He is stirring hearts for the orphan, and He has made it clear to us that we are to be a resource if needed. If you've EVER had a fleeting thought that maybe you would consider adoption some day.... then we are here for you! (And just so you know... if 7% of the world's Christians would adopt just ONE child, there would be no orphan crisis. Or so I'm told.....)
So. On with the story.....
Q: What made you want to adopt?
A: Well. I had thought about adoption off and on for years. As I mentioned before, I was most intrigued by the adoption stories of others and always thought that maybe we could adopt??? But, when I'd mentioned it to Joe, he'd say, "Are you crazy?" And my answer was: YES. I think so! Clearly, it wasn't the Lord's timing just yet..... until November of 2011. I was feeling a MAJOR desire to add another child to our family, but I felt ZERO desire to physically birth another one. It was CLEAR to me what we should do...... I desperately wanted to adopt. I became obsessed with stories, books, blogs, videos, etc. telling the adoption stories of others and found myself having trouble focusing on ANYTHING else. I prayed and cried.... all the while, keeping it to myself. Finally, in February of 2012, Joe came home one night from work and I was CRYING. Like... CRYING. I told him that I was either going crazy, or that we were supposed to adopt a child. And, for the first time, he did not dismiss it. He took a deep breath, smiled, and said, "Well, let me pray about it and we can talk it through." TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER, he confessed that he hadn't stopped thinking about it, couldn't stop crying, and that, yes.... maybe this WAS the Lord's plan for us. WOO HOO!!! We talked it through for the next few weeks and then submitted our application in early April.
Q: What agency did you use and why?
A: Here's how much I knew about adoption: I didn't even know you needed an agency. I don't know WHERE or HOW I thought you went about getting a child.... I guess I'd never THOUGHT about that part..... but that night in February when I told Joe, I googled (for the zillionth time) "international adoption" and the FIRST listing in google (for the FIRST time ever) was Lifeline Children's Services. Oh. A Christian adoption agency. Oh. They are in Birmingham. Oh. THEY ARE HAVING AN INFORMATIONAL MEETING IN TUSCALOOSA THE NEXT NIGHT!!! Okay, Lord! We get it! We're on the right track! We went to that informational meeting the next night and never researched another agency after that. The Lord didn't waste any time.... took us right to the most precious, godly group of people that were completely and totally awesome through our entire experience. When I grow up, I want to work at Lifeline. I kid you not.
Q: Why China? Why not adopt from the United States?
A: This is a GREAT question. And I have NO answer for it other than to say, "That's where our daughter was." The Lord NEVER tugged our hearts towards domestic adoption. The Lord NEVER nudged us to consider another country. It was ALWAYS a young girl from China. ALWAYS. Some folks are called to adopt domestically.... because that's where their children are. Some families go to Ethiopia or Uganda or Russia or Columbia.... because that's where the Lord leads them. I do not pretend to know why the Lord leads us where he leads us..... but I know that His hand was on Mary Powell, and out of a great loss that she suffered when she lost her first family through abandonment, MY family gained a precious daughter and sister. He knew she needed somebody..... and it just so happens, we needed her, too. God sets the lonely in families, my friends..... and sometimes, He goes a great distance to do it!
Q: How did you choose Special Needs over Non-Special Needs?
A: When we began our paperwork, we were actually going to pursue a "healthy" child. In the adoption world, this is a "Non-Special Needs" adoption: NSN. Then, we discovered that we'd be waiting over SIX years..... that's how long a NSN adoption from China is taking these days..... and, well, Joe and I aren't getting any younger. So, we began to research and ask questions about the Special Needs kids. And, like any situation, once you do your homework, you begin to realize that it's not as scary as it seems. Mary's adoption was considered SN... her medical special need is CHD... heart defect. In Mary's case, she had her surgery in China at three months old. (We actually had an appointment with a cardiologist and the repair was done beautifully. Mary's heart is healthy!) Some children have NOT had surgeries that they might need yet and some have special needs that are not "medically correctible". But.... when filling out our initial paperwork with Lifeline (and all agencies do this, I think).... we filled out a LENGTHY form identifying the special needs we felt we had the CAPACITY to handle. (This is one of the many ways that adoption is different than having biological children.... you really can put a lot of thought into what you feel you can and cannot handle as far as needs go....) Of course, the Lord already had Mary picked out for us, so He led us in filling out that form!
Q: Doesn't it cost a lot of money to adopt a child?
A: Yes. Adoption is costly. And we did not have ONE DIME of the money in our pocket when we filled out that initial application. NOT ONE DIME. But, we figured that if the Lord was calling us to this, He wasn't going to just say, "Well, good luck finding the money!" Our God is much more gracious and in control than that! There are LOTS of families who do a marvelous job of fundraising to secure the funds it takes to complete an adoption..... they sell tshirts, jewelry, coffee, pillows, blankets.... they auction off ipads and football tickets..... they have yard sales and spaghetti suppers. There are even a lot of GRANTS you can write to help with adoption costs. Folks who fundraise to adopt are ROCK STARS. They're doing something REALLY hard in the middle of something that's already REALLY difficult. If you see an adoptive family selling a tshirt or necklace: BUY IT. I mean it. BUY IT. In our particular case, the Lord was SERIOUS that we not look back or question what we were doing, and He knew that funding would be a major stumbling block for us: between a tax refund, the selling of our boat, one big yard sale, and a bonus from Joe's work, we had enough money when we needed it..... and that was the key: WHEN WE NEEDED IT. We NEVER had the whole amount sitting in the bank. But, when we would have a payment due so we could complete the home study, Joe got a bigger than anticipated bonus at work. When it was time to secure Visas and finish off the last of the agency fees, Joe earned rewards from his company for something he didn't even know he'd done. When it was time to pay for travel, we sold our boat - IN ONE WEEK. The Lord was ALL OVER THIS.
Q: Aren't you worried that knowing she is adopted will bother her some day?
A: No. Maybe I should be worried about that.... maybe I'm being naive. But our plan is to be very open and honest with Mary as she grows and asks questions. If she WANTS a connection to her Chinese heritage, we'll live it up celebrating Chinese New Year and learning Mandarin and such. If she asks questions about her birth family, we'll tell her what we know. If she wants, we'll take her back to China some day. But my HOPE is that she will appreciate the uniqueness of her life story. My hope is that she will realize how precious the Lord is and how he saw her in China and us in the United States and knit our stories together as a family. I hope she understands... REALLY GETS.... how utterly thankful and humbled we are that she is a part of us now.
Q: Does she know how lucky she is to have been adopted?
A: She's not lucky. Mary's coming into our wacky, happy family was not luck. It was the result of a tremendous loss for her. All children should be able to live and grow up and know their birth families, but for MANY reasons, not all children can. Mary's beginnings are hard and we may NEVER understand the WHY of her start. Yes, family is a BLESSING, but it's a blessing that I'm not sure ANY of us appreciate for REAL. My boys have been with us since the first day of their lives and I'm not sure they truly appreciate how BLESSED they are. I mean, I've been adopted by the ALMIGHTY GOD and I'm not sure I fully appreciate and comprehend how blessed I am. But one thing I DEFINITELY want ALL THREE of my children to know is that they are WANTED and CHOSEN (by their Earthly Mom and Dad AND by their HEAVENLY FATHER)..... that's WAY beyond luck.
Q: Does she speak Chinese?
A: Dunno. If she does, she's not spoken any to us. Doesn't speak the English, either. Whatever language "grunt and squeal and point" is.... THAT'S the language she speaks.
Q: Why was she abandoned?
A: We are often asked questions about her abandonment and, honestly, we don't know much. What we've shared is that she was found at two months old in the Shanghai Railway Station. She had a note with her telling her true birthdate and that she was left with 80RMB (Chinese money). Those are the facts that we felt comfortable sharing. There are a few other things that we've uncovered through her file or speaking with the orphanage workers, etc..... but..... that's HER story to tell. Again, the beginning for an orphan is sad, but we're going to do our best to make sure she has a happily ever after!
Q: Is she transitioning well?
A: Yes! We've been cocooning pretty heavily, and we feel certain that she understands who her core people are.... (we call ourselves her Core Four!) One of us is still with her every second and we feel blessed that we've had the opportunity to do that. We are beginning to encourage Mary to interact with others, though.... let grandparents hold her, give folks high five, give people at church a hug, etc. Sometimes she does.... sometimes she doesn't...... just like any kid, I guess. We spend a lot of time at the house, and she definitely feels confident in her home environment. She is sometimes rather reserved in public places, but at home, she's relaxed and happy. She understands us, is MOSTLY obedient, and has settled beautifully into a routine. We absolutely positively know how blessed we are to have had such a lovely re-entry with this new person. So. Thankful.
Q: What does she eat?
A: Rice. Noodles. Bananas. Pound cake. Grits. Potato chips. Cheerios. Yogurt. Coleslaw. Biscuit and gravy. Fried eggs. Broccoli cheese soup. English peas. Applesauce. Black eyed peas. Fried okra. Chicken. Steamed broccoli. ETC. Thankfully, the ENORMOUS, UNBELIEVABLE amount of food that she was putting away in China and in the first couple of weeks home has lessened into a NORMAL amount for a little kid her age. I'm so happy about this.... because I was certain that she was going to EXPLODE.
Q: How are the boys doing with a new sister?
A: Half the time, she's like a new puppy: cute and fun to look at and play with. The other half of the time, she's like a pesky little sister who touches their phones and slobbers on their iPads.
Q: Isn't adoption a risk? Couldn't it really change your life?
A: Yes, I guess it's a risk. You don't know this child you are bringing into your family and any family history and background is nonexistent. It certainly requires a huge leap of faith.... and these unknowns are things that I will probably continue to pray about as long as I live. Does adoption change your life? Oh, mercy.... I hope so! I hope that NONE of us are ever the same. Before we were obedient to the Lord's calling to adopt, my world was TINY and I felt very much in control and on top of things. THEN, we began our journey to Mary. My world expanded (having a child on the other side of the world will do that to you) and I felt so very much out of control (having a child on the other side of the world will do THAT to you, too.) I was (and kinda still am) an emotional WRECK, so I looked to the Lord for comfort and peace and, sometimes, the ability to breath. I have absolutely NO DOUBT that this was one of the major reasons that the Lord asked this of us.... so that we would be forced to let HIM be in control. I also hope that the boys' lives are forever changed. They have seen what love has done in Mary's life.... how less than three months ago, she had NO ONE.... and now she's such a precious, cherished part of our family. We all wonder what we would do without her little smiling face. I hope my boys ALWAYS have tender hearts for those who need a family or who need to know love. Yes. A changed life? Let it be so.
Q: Are there things about adoption that you haven't shared on this blog?
A: I could absolutely go on and on.... could happily talk about what adoption has done for our lives and exactly how the process works and where to find out about waiting children and which folks are currently fundraising for their adoptions and why China has so many orphans and what we packed for our two week stay in China and what other countries need families to adopt and what resources are available to educate adopting families and ways you can be matched with a child and the types of special needs that are most common and on and on and on and on..... I love talking about it. So.... PLEASE.... if you are curious about ANYTHING.... anything AT ALL.... please let me know.
God knows the names and faces of every one of the 147 million orphans worldwide, and He has chosen families to help Him love on these children. We were one of them. THANK GOODNESS.
Speaking of faces.... I have pictures!
Don't you just love to watch a kid work a cob of corn?
Miss Priss wore her bow ALL MORNING last Sunday!
Here, Mary was supposed to be helping me put away groceries in the pantry. I'd sent her to put her fruit cups away. I continued to unload groceries in the kitchen. Then, I realized that she'd been gone for several minutes. That's never good. I found her in the pantry like this. She'd made a seat out of that little cooler and was WORKING on the bucket of goldfish. I mean....she was ELBOW DEEP in that bucket when I found her. Good grief.
Jack's Mom made him stop for a picture on his way into the Moody Music Building. Get in there and get brilliant on that instrument, my darling boy.
This is the violin piece he is currently working on. I have no idea what ANY of that is.
We spend A LOT of time playing in the backyard at Moody Music Building (Jack's second home). While we wait on him to become musically brilliant, we run in the grass!
Or.... THIS is how Max waits on Jack. Poor tired boy.
When it's time to go, Max lends a helping hand. He'll be mad that this picture made it to the blog. I don't care. It's precious. And Joe laughs that it's a shadow bomb.
The Maxer is playing some football this year. So, so growny.
I don't know what he's telling her here, but she's listening. I hope it is something sweet and good and not stuff like how to get a rise out of Mom.
Sometimes, Jack has to do the waiting. Here he is at Max's football game. How do big brothers survive 6th grade tackle football? iPhones and big books.
Roll Tide!
Another strings player in the house. Welcome, cello.
Sometimes, on Friday, we take the boys to Jack's for breakfast before school. And sometimes, we don't even get out of our PAJAMAS to do it! And I MUST take video of this person working on her bowl of grits from Jack's. It will change your life.
We like the Barnes and Noble.
And the Chick-fil-A.
The fountain at the park was intriguing. Not really sure about it here.
But we decided to be brave and get a closer look......
I did NOT get a picture of what happened next. Cause there were tears and I had to do some loving. Poor girl..... apparently she did NOT expect to get WET from sticking her hand in that fountain.
The sweating little girl in pink is obsessed with rocks. We bring them home from all over town.
Look at that sweet thing playing at the princess vanity in Sunday School. Sweetness.
Waiting on Jack AGAIN. But the benches at the Moody make good napping spots!
Got my crown on just in time for my first Miss America! We were rooting for Miss California (her parents are Chinese immigrants!), but Miss New York won. That's fine. She's pretty, too.
So, this brings us to the middle of September. The boys are settled into their school routines, football is in full swing, orchestras are underway, and fall is coming! In the days ahead, there are baby dedications, birthday parties, Halloween costumes, and Christmas! We happy.
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