NOW I believe them.....

I have a rule on Facebook:  no posts unless they will entertain and spread some joy.  No posts to complain about stuff.  No grumblings about to-do lists and things that make me mad. No joy?  No post.  And that also applies to this blog.  Most of the time.....

Since we decided to adopt, I've become MILDLY addicted to reading the blogs of people going through this process.  I spend a LOT of my spare time checking on their timelines or crying at their pictures or reading about their "gotcha" day.  I feel like I KNOW these people.... even though I've never met a single one of them.

But I must admit, when they ALL began to whine and complain about how hard the WAIT is in the adoption journey, I thought to myself, "Those people are wimps."  I wondered why on earth people would take up space in the blogosphere with such moaning and groaning and pity-party attitudes.  I declared to anyone who would listen that, "If the Lord has called you to adopt, you gotta trust His timeline.  ENJOY the JOURNEY.  Use those times in between the "documentable" moments to learn patience and to grow."  I even penned a few eloquent words for this very blog, which I never actually posted........ here's a snippet....

(written on Monday, October 15)....(but never posted....)

So, my goal as the Lord has us WAIT (bleck!).... is to keep things in perspective.  My goal is to ENJOY THE JOURNEY.  Repeat after me:  ENJOY THE JOURNEY.  Not just the adoption journey..... the LIFE JOURNEY.  Enjoy the music lessons and the math posters and studying for spelling tests in the big bed.  Enjoy the conversations in the car and the decisions about Halloween costumes and the discussions about the Presidential debates.  Enjoy the tweets and the Facebook posts and the YouTube videos sponsored by your people. Enjoy these days of dreaming about who our little girl will be and what her voice will sound like and how I gotta learn how to make piggy tails.

ENJOY THIS MOMENT.

Who wrote that?  Me.  And I still believe that.  I agree with every word I said. (No I don't.... not really.)  (Well, most of it.....) (I agree with ALL of it.  I DO.)

What prompted such an eloquent oration?  THIS:

(also written on October 15)

Joe declared his glee at a response to an email that we got last night.  And I don't know that it was so much the RESPONSE we got, but my email that prompted it.  I MIGHT have been a bit dramatic in my email to our social worker.  I MIGHT have told her to "call China and tell them to LOG US IN."  I MIGHT have given her the slight notion that I'm a bit impatient and would like to just please skip all this waiting and just go pick up my daughter tomorrow.  She MIGHT not ever read an email from me ever again.

Joe and the boys have now laughed at me for the last 24 hours at my moment of craze.

Well, well, well...... who's grumbling now?  And I would have published that darn post, too..... if Joe hadn't told me to just "think about it....."

Well, I've thought about it.  For a WEEK.  So, here's a bit more...... you want more?  Cause I got more.

(Yep.... same post from Oct. 15.....)

But waiting is hard.

It is.

And sometimes life is hard, too.

Sometimes your status on Facebook doesn't end with a smiley face.  Sometimes your answer to, "How are you today?" ISN'T "I'm fine."  Life is busy and people get tired and some folks are sick.....and on and on and on.  The title of this blog is "Think You Can Hold Up?"...... and sometimes, that's a tricky question.

I know.  I know.  

I have become one of THOSE people.  But NOW, I BELIEVE THEM.

So, welcome to my pity-party.  

Facebook/blog rule:  BROKEN.

We did receive a call from our social worker on Friday (I was so glad to hear her voice and know that I didn't scare her off completely)...... she was precious and encouraging....... 

So, the UPDATE is:

We are waiting on LID.  (That's LOG IN DATE).... This is supposed to happen 3-4 weeks after you are DTC (Dossier to China) (which we were on September 7)...... 

Are you doing the math in your head?  Cause we've been waiting more than 3-4 weeks...... thus, my recent meltdown.

But, our social worker superhero figured out the problem.... something about a "wire verification"..... and it's all fine.  We should have LID any day now.

Do I still check my inbox like a hundred times a day?  Yep.

Does this knowledge make it any easier to wait?  Nope.

But it's okay..... cause I also wrote THIS:

(you got it.... October 15)

Cause I sometimes worry that I'm missing it.  I'm missing the joy of each day cause I'm flustered or hurried or writing bizarre emails to our social worker.  I don't want to miss anything.  If the Lord speaks in a still small voice, then He surely is present in our still small moments.  I've just got to calm down long enough to soak Him in.

And there you have it.

Operation CALM DOWN is ON.